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About Other / Hobbyist SkrayMale/United States Group :iconpokemonanthrocountry: PokemonAnthroCountry
 
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Deviant for 5 Years
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  • Mood: Desperate
  • Listening to: some asshole bird making nouse at 3 AM
  • Reading: "how to disappear from existence"
  • Watching: nothing. youtube is DEAD right now.
  • Playing: "where shall i go curl up and cry next"?
  • Eating: not hungry
  • Drinking: haven;t had anything to drink in a week or two
i'm shutting myself out from the world entrely.

my reason for this is that every time i put myself out there, life comes in and says "you're trying to get somewhere?  here, let me fix that."

a huge example is every time i have a crush, i soon find out (simetimes seconds later) that they have a permanent mate.  as soon as i learn that, i instantly distance myself because any further communication is going to make me depressed and want to die.  i'm not suicidal anymore (i'm forced to see people who will shame me for it), but there's times where i get depressed enough to curl up on the floor.  learning that someone i like has a mate is a guarantee i'll be crying under my desk, not answering anything.  i'll be doing that after this is posted.

i also get absolutely nowhere when i talk to someone whom i haven't known for years.  me being nice always comes off to girls as "creepy", and to guys as "being a complete loser".  i would have a better chance of breathing on the moon of i inhaled hard enough than i do finding a mate who i think is cute, does cute things, and actually likes me back and doesn;t act like i just crawled out of a roach's ass.

now let me set one thing straight here.  :iconcalliomcalico:  is an OC that :iconnomukoru: is letting me "date" temporarily until i can find an actual, real mate.  it worked for the first few days, but to be honest, it's pretty much another "imaginary girlfriend", except this one can actually talk to me.

now, i;ve let my crushes know.  never right away.  i;ve let one of my crushes, ( :iconmonstrottsity: ) know of my feelings, but she either changes the subject or doesn't respond for an hour, probably staring at a gun tinking "this is the time.  gotta get away from him."  i wouldn't blame her for that.  i've had someone fake their own death in order to escape my love a few years ago.

i had a crush on gradiewoof over on FA that i got over, but when i had it, they seemed to be quite hostile towards me until i actually gave up and moved on.  that seems to happen to me primarily, as i haven;t heard of anyone else i know having a crush who gets hostile towards them until they give up and move on, and i;ve experienced this multiple times.

probably the worst feeling is when i find someone i like who actually wears a hairbow/flower in her hair, either irl, on their fursuit, or both, and they're taken.  this kind of girl is almost always engaged.    this affects me the worst.  i have a scar on my thumb from a "test cut" after this happened when i found someone with a fursuit that always were a big pink flower.  but SHE didn;t tell me, no.  her fiance came and threatened me, and she didn't even ask him to lay off the violence and murder threats.  she wasn't in support of the threats, but she didn't really tell him to stop.

so basically, if i shut myself out, i won;t be sad anymore.  i'll hang around a week of so, then my computer is going "smash", and i'll just sit on a chair in the corner 24/7 because that's the only thing i can do that WON'T leave me an emotional train-wreck.
  • Mood: Desperate
  • Listening to: some asshole bird making nouse at 3 AM
  • Reading: "how to disappear from existence"
  • Watching: nothing. youtube is DEAD right now.
  • Playing: "where shall i go curl up and cry next"?
  • Eating: not hungry
  • Drinking: haven;t had anything to drink in a week or two
i'm shutting myself out from the world entrely.

my reason for this is that every time i put myself out there, life comes in and says "you're trying to get somewhere?  here, let me fix that."

a huge example is every time i have a crush, i soon find out (simetimes seconds later) that they have a permanent mate.  as soon as i learn that, i instantly distance myself because any further communication is going to make me depressed and want to die.  i'm not suicidal anymore (i'm forced to see people who will shame me for it), but there's times where i get depressed enough to curl up on the floor.  learning that someone i like has a mate is a guarantee i'll be crying under my desk, not answering anything.  i'll be doing that after this is posted.

i also get absolutely nowhere when i talk to someone whom i haven't known for years.  me being nice always comes off to girls as "creepy", and to guys as "being a complete loser".  i would have a better chance of breathing on the moon of i inhaled hard enough than i do finding a mate who i think is cute, does cute things, and actually likes me back and doesn;t act like i just crawled out of a roach's ass.

now let me set one thing straight here.  :iconcalliomcalico:  is an OC that :iconnomukoru: is letting me "date" temporarily until i can find an actual, real mate.  it worked for the first few days, but to be honest, it's pretty much another "imaginary girlfriend", except this one can actually talk to me.

now, i;ve let my crushes know.  never right away.  i;ve let one of my crushes, ( :iconmonstrottsity: ) know of my feelings, but she either changes the subject or doesn't respond for an hour, probably staring at a gun tinking "this is the time.  gotta get away from him."  i wouldn't blame her for that.  i've had someone fake their own death in order to escape my love a few years ago.

i had a crush on gradiewoof over on FA that i got over, but when i had it, they seemed to be quite hostile towards me until i actually gave up and moved on.  that seems to happen to me primarily, as i haven;t heard of anyone else i know having a crush who gets hostile towards them until they give up and move on, and i;ve experienced this multiple times.

probably the worst feeling is when i find someone i like who actually wears a hairbow/flower in her hair, either irl, on their fursuit, or both, and they're taken.  this kind of girl is almost always engaged.    this affects me the worst.  i have a scar on my thumb from a "test cut" after this happened when i found someone with a fursuit that always were a big pink flower.  but SHE didn;t tell me, no.  her fiance came and threatened me, and she didn't even ask him to lay off the violence and murder threats.  she wasn't in support of the threats, but she didn't really tell him to stop.

so basically, if i shut myself out, i won;t be sad anymore.  i'll hang around a week of so, then my computer is going "smash", and i'll just sit on a chair in the corner 24/7 because that's the only thing i can do that WON'T leave me an emotional train-wreck.

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SkraytheRiolu's Profile Picture
SkraytheRiolu
Skray
Artist | Hobbyist | Other
United States
i'm a broken-hearted furry whom nobody will ever love...

i couldn't ask for better friends than:


:iconpip-the-fetraweasel: my bro-ham
:iconfifilafume:
:iconbabsandbusterbunny:
:iconrickymario7: my brony bro
:iconannalise-q-graye:
:iconxxcry-my-angelxx: mah entertainment
:iconmax-sutari:
:iconsabishi-neko: my comfort girl
:iconcarmelitafoxplz: the plz accound i made. surprised nobody has done it already.
:iconsuperbabsy123: my favorite lovely vixen in the universe(yes, she beats krystal)

if i left anyone out, let me know >.<

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╔═╦╗╔╦═╦═╦╗╔╗ Put This On
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║╔╣╚╝║║║║╚╗╔╝You Are Or
╚╝╚══╩╝╚╝♥╚╝Support Furries


suicide is ALWAYS an option

Current Residence: Aperture Laboratories
deviantWEAR sizing preference: set me up with some snowboardng boots and i'm ok
Print preference: 777 font
Favourite genre of music: anything NOT bieber or "hanmon" related
Favourite photographer: that guy who took pictures of that stuff
Favourite style of art: kryyysstaaaaallllll.......
Operating System: half-dead laptop
MP3 player of choice: the Aperture Science Radio station
Shell of choice: tmnt backpack
Wallpaper of choice: furry stuff
Skin of choice: who needs skin when you can have fur?
Favourite cartoon character: any vixen or female skunk
Personal Quote: screw you kind sir
Interests

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Comments


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:iconghostbusters2:
ghostbusters2 Featured By Owner Edited Dec 4, 2015
how are you doing right now 
Reply
:iconskraytheriolu:
SkraytheRiolu Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
....i dont know you.

but im ok
Reply
:iconfortepony:
FortePony Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch! :D
Reply
:iconskraytheriolu:
SkraytheRiolu Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
no probs, higgins
Reply
:iconxunlimited:
XUnlimited Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015
Thanx for adding my Rita 2nd pic to your :+fav:
Reply
:iconpipt00ns:
PiPT00NS Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for sticking around~ 
Reply
:iconskraytheriolu:
SkraytheRiolu Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
no prob, bob.  didn;t know you liked fnaf.
Reply
:iconpipt00ns:
PiPT00NS Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm way into the lore~
Reply
:iconskraytheriolu:
SkraytheRiolu Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
who's your favorite? .w.  i like bonnie from the first one.  he seems to have a butt nose xD
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconkisara16:
Kisara16 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2014  Hobbyist
thanks for watching ^^
Reply
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